>Happy First Full Day of Spring! It’s garden time! Yay! The post you are about to read was originally posted on September 7, 2010. It’s funny as hell and deserves to be posted again, especially for readers who have been with us for only a little while. It’s also worth a re-read, so jump right in!

Happy Labor Day Weekend, 2010, y’all! Since it is a holiday weekend, and all of you will be in the mood for fun, froth and frivolity, not earth-shattering news about stuff like Mexican Food and Bar B Que or the story of a guy who finds a missile launcher in his garden (!), you want some lighter fare that fits the occasion. Ask and ye shall receive. The torrid typing of the Texas Tidbits Teletype produces these gems (or BS, depending on your point of view) :

Nice Donuts You’ve Got There
  • Midland – The Sheriff’s Department of Midland County sounds like a great place to work. The “perks” are really cool…til you get caught. It seems that five of Midland’s finest were enjoying a little fellowship and discussing pressing law enforcement issues at an establishment named “Twin Peaks”. I don’t don’t know about you, but as a bachelor and man of the world for most of my adult life (until I met Heather), when a place of business is named “Twin Peaks”, two things leap to mind. Mountains or scantily clad young women. Being that this episode took place in Midland, mountains are ruled out immediately. That leaves what’s behind door number two : scanitly clad young women. Having said that, the name of a place alone is not necessarily an indication of what kind of business it is. However, and that’s a big however, when the business’ motto is “fun, friendly and sometimes flirty atmosphere!”, red flags (and scantily clad young women) go up like they were shot out of a thirty-aught-six. The scenario : These five cops were having a couple of beers at Twin Peaks. They befriended one of the scantily clad young women who works there and one of the Men in Blue invited the scantily clad young woman outside for a few snapshots. Nothing good could come from that. Even I have never been so inebriated as to do such a dumabass thing, plenty of other dumbass things but nothing this dumbass. Anyway, as if taking this girl outside for a few pictures isn’t dumbass enough, one of the cops gives her an AK-47 AR-15! (thanks to anonymous in the comments for the correction-Toby) to pose with on his squad car! Epic.Fail. The High Sheriff of Midland County failed to see the humor in this little incident and took appropriate disciplinary action against the officers. In all this skullduggery and debauchery (and harmless law enforcement fun), there is a two word moral to the story for the gentlemen involved : Dunkin. Donuts.

There’s your heart-warming human interest story for this week. Be sure to tune in next week when we’ll have a blockbuster of a tale when the Midland Sheriff’s Department spurns the lure of the scantily clad young women at Twin Peaks and opt for buffalo wings, beer and scantily clad young women at Hooters. You don’t wanna miss it!

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